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WHAT THE FUCK IS JOJOS BIZARRE ADVENTURE EVEN ABOUT

MOST SHOWS ON TUMBLR YOU CAN GET A GOOD IDEA FROM POSTS AND SHIT ABOUT THEM

BUT I STILL HAVE LITERALLY NO GOD DAMN IDEA WHAT IS WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW

You know what? Someone has to add a JoJo primer to tumblr’s most infamous JoJo post. It might as well be me.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is an eight-part shonen action manga by Hirohiko Araki ththat’s p spot on actuallyat follows the Joestar family over 120 years and two dimensions. Each part differs wildly from the previous one in terms of premise and genre, but all of them share the same key components of JoJo’s:

1. Each part always stars a member of the Joestar family who’s nicknamed JoJo.

2. Everything is named after Western music. Examples include a sidekick named Robert Edward O. Speedwagon, a sexy martial arts mentor named Lisa Lisa, and a sentient colony of plankton inhabiting the body of a dead woman named Foo Fighters.

3. From Part 3 onwards, Stands. Stands are basically invisible astral projections created from your fighting spirit. What makes Stands stand out (*ba dum-tish*) from, say, Personas, is just how absurdly weird their powers get as the series progresses. Personal favorites include Jail House Lock (makes it so the victim can only remember three bits of information at a time), Osiris (steals souls, but only if the victim bets it in a game of chance), Bad Company (a tiny army – as in it’s comprised of about a 1000 dudes and tanks about the size of toy soldiers), and Scary Monsters (basically a zombie virus, only the infected turn into dinosaurs instead of zombies).

(If putting zippers on everything sounds like a stupid, useless power, you would be very wrong.)

4. Posing. Posing is very important

5. Copious amounts of weirdness. Part 1 is comparatively tame, but even that has vampires with prehensile veins and who suck blood through their fingers. By Part 3, we’re literally aging people back to the embryonic stage and dropping steamrollers on overmuscled teenagers. And Part 6? Don’t even get me started on how fucking weird that part gets (SNAILOCALYPSE!).

Here is one such example from Part 2

And another from Part 6

6. Even more copious amounts of violence. Especially against dogs. Araki really seems to hate dogs

7. Everyone is very questionably dressed.

8. It is all very fabulous, especially parts 2 and 5.

As for individual parts, allow me to provide a brief summary of each:

Part 1: Fist of the North Star meets Castlevania.

Part 2: Indiana Jones with Aztec vampire gods and a ridiculous amount of homoeroticism.

Part 3: Five superpowered dorks go on a roadtrip to Egypt, and everything tries to kill them on the way.

Part 4: Slice of life anime if slice of life anime were completely insane and featured serial killers who go on dates with severed hands and had the ability to turn anything they touch into a bomb.

Part 5: Fabulously dressed bishonen gangsters.

Part 6:  Girl gets framed for drunken manslaughter and thrown into a jail where half the inmates are superpowered crazy people out for her blood.

Part 7: Italian goofball and parapalegic horse jockey treck across America to find Jesus. Literally.

Part 8: Girl comes across amnesiac dude with unusual equipment and the ability to steal anything up to and including abstract concepts. They team up and try to figure out just who he is.

Or, in quick visual form:

So, there you go: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. It lives up to its name