I always laugh when somebody declares James Potter on the verge of expulsion for his pranks in fic because Malfoy was literally a Death Eater trying to kill the Headmaster and Dumbledore was like “Let’s just see if we can gently guide him away from this” I’m pretty sure the only thing that gets you expelled at Hogwarts is if you have already straight up murdered someone
you mean to tell me the boy who lived under the stairs and was abused his whole life would even think to say something like that to his son get this crap the fuck out of my face
The boy has never had anything nice and the second he gets his hands on some money he tries to buy a fucking solid gold cauldron like started from the bottom now we here I love him so much
Honestly Hagrid saved Harry from so much embarrassment. Can you imagine him turning up to his first potions lesson with a fucking solid gold cauldron??? Like Snape already hated Harry think about what he would have said if Harry just plonked that on his desk
I think he would have said fuck it to his promise to dumbledore and murdered Harry on the spot
AGAIN WITH THE SOLID GOLD POSSESSIONS HARRY. I’m surprised he never replaced his glasses with solid gold ones the boy clearly has a taste for the finer things in life. Or when he had his bones removed by Lockhart in second year, he probably had to stop himself from asking Pomfrey to just fill his arm up with gold instead of bones.
NO WONDER HE CAN SEE THE FUCKIN SNITCH SO WELL HE’S ON THE HUNT FOR GOLD
viktor krum loved hermione with all of his heart like that dude could have had any veela bitch he wanted but he instead fell head over heels for the bookish, brilliant and entirely unique hermione granger like he didn’t give a shit that she was unpopular or any of that other superficial crap i mean god damn that boy hung on her every word and admired her so much on so many levels and was willing to protect her from anything without reservation and he just loved her so god damn much like i think this was the first time anyone ever made hermione feel beautiful and the first time anyone liked her because her so called ‘faults’ instead of in spite of them and he treat her with so much respect and genuine affection like even when he left and she wouldn’t be his girlfriend he still loved her and was more than willing to wait for her or to just remain as her friend just as long as he got to be in her life somehow and he did this without even a HINT of passive aggression because he was such a genuinely good person and he loved hermione with everything he had and her happiness meant more to him than his own and to sum up i really love viktor krum and i will forever resent that hermione and him didn’t end up together because it would of been magical and he would have loved her until his last breath and that’s the kind of love hermione granger deserved.
last post about the wizarding schools thing: hard to believe that a country as culturally rich as China, with such great number of ethnic minorities and dialects AND a 5000-year old civilization + over a billion freaking inhabitants would have NO major wizarding schools whatsoever
tbh people mock harry for going back to rescue fleurs sister in the second triwizard task but harry knows dumbledore better than anyone else. he probably looked at the situation and thought “would dumbledore let an eight year old drown just because fleur couldnt do this bit? yes. yes he would.”
something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort
*scoffs* ‘“Dark Lord” huh??? that just sounds to me like another way of saying you don’t have a REAL JOB.’
let’s call this post A BIOLOGIST’S 1 AM ISSUES WITH THE BASILISK IN THE MOVIE VERSION OF THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (BY POPULAR REQUEST)
and let’s be clear most of the time i dabble in mammals and not herps so i’m expecting a herpetologist to whisk this post away when i’m done and get in on the real schooling
now let’s be clear there are some major differences between movie basilisk and book basilisk. by perusing my copy of chamber of secrets i can give you the major points of the description:
very large (“thick as an oak trunk,” with a mouth wide enough to swallow Harry, a 12 year old gryffindor child, whole)
“bright, poisonous green”
“bulbous yellow eyes”
“fangs long and thin as sabres”
fuck i love rowling’s descriptions OKAY
and you know what, it’s pretty ok. aside from the size (i’ll discuss this in just a minute) it really works. with the bright green coloration, I always imagined it looking like a green mamba or a boomslang, two types of highly venomous snakes. (yes, a boomslang IS a real thing that JKR did not make up as a polyjuice potion ingredient!)
Above: a gorgeous boomslang. Tell me that fucker wouldn’t look awesome huge and CGI.
EY FATTY BOOM BOOM 