Denis Diderot: You can try but in all likelihood before you can even lift your arm to punch him he will have managed to make you sit down for a coffee and you’re cracking up laughing at some insidious dirty joke he wrote in Le neveu de Rameau.
David Hume: Hume was Scottish and smarter than all Englishmen of his time. Don’t fight Hume. It’s like playing into the hands of the establishment.
Montesquieu: On one hand you will not want to because separation and balance of powers but on the other hand, he will open his mouth and you won’t be able to stand it. Also he was a 18th century French nobleman so weak by nature, you can take him.
Adam Smith: Look, I get it. You want to punch him. But do you really want to punch Adam Smith or you want to punch neo-liberals? Because I’m pretty sure Adam Smith would join you in punching the neo liberals.
Immanuel Kant: Again you could try but chances are Kant would convince that the only rational course of action is for you to punch yourself.
Jean D’Alembert: You d’definitely win in a fight but first of all, why would you even want to do that?!
John Locke: I mean you can fight him and you d’win with the added bonus of traumatizing the English nation forever and ever but on the other hand have you looked at him? He looks frightened of his own shadow.
Baruch Spinoza: Do not fight Spinoza. He will destroy you.
Voltaire: I mean you d’definitely win because Voltaire was short and thin and I get that he is so very punchable but 1- Émilie du Châtelet would come for you no matter where you hid and 2- Voltaire would write seven pamphlets and four satires against you in a week and would convince the whole world that you have as many brain cells as a sloth and you d’be the laughing stock of all Europe because everyone knows who he is. So ask yourself, is it really worth the trouble?
Rousseau: Fight him. I’ll pay you.
It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all those who profit by the old order, and only lukewarm defenders in all those who would profit by the new order, this lukewarmness arising partly from fear of their adversaries, who have the laws in their favor; and partly from the incredulity of mankind, who do not truly believe in anything new until they have had actual experience of it. Thus it arises that on every opportunity for attacking the reformer, his opponents do so with the zeal of partisans, the others only defend him half-heartedly, so that between them he runs great danger.
there are a lot of philosophers out there, and they all need to get pummeled. here’s the chances that you’ll come out on top in no particular order.
Socrates Who wins: Socrates Look, there is a -100% chance that Socrates lands a KO, but that’s because he doesn’t need to. you come in spoiling for a fight and by the end of it you’re seriously debating whether you can truly claim to have ownership of your arms. It makes you want to fight him more and then you just get deeper into the spiral. don’t bother.
Plato Who wins: Plato Sorry, but his name literally means ‘burly guy.’ you’re not going to win this one.
Aristotle Who wins: You Ok actually I don’t know who wins here but Aristotle needs to be beaten up so badly. Please punch him. I’ll help.
Diogenes: Who wins: Diogenes I get why you want to fight him. I want to fight him. Everyone wants to fight him. don’t do it tho. His entire life is a series of him asking people to fight him and he still lived to one million years old. Don’t do it.
Epicurus Who wins: Epicurus Jesus don’t fight Epicurus. dude does NOT care. your punches will be like water off a ducks back.
Kant Who wins: Nobody I forget the argument I was going to make because I just looked him up and he looks like a weird adult baby.
you’ll win this one but why do you want to fight an adult baby. Avoid.
Voltaire Who wins: You sidenote: is there a single picture where Voltaire doesn’t look punchable?
honestly. anyway, look at the guy, he’s like 20 pounds. punch him.
Hume Who wins: Hume ‘In 1731, he was afflicted with a ravenous appetite and palpitations of the heart. After eating well for a time, he went from being “tall, lean and raw-bon’d” to being “sturdy, robust [and] healthful-like”’ HE GOT ILL AND IT ONLY MADE HIM STRONGER. AVOID.
Hegel Who wins: ??? I honestly don’t know but ughhhhhhh he’s so smuuuuuug. Do it. Beat up Hegel.
Kierkegaard Who wins: You Like, the entire Concept of Anxiety. there is no way you could lose this fight. go for it.
Spinoza Who wins: You But you won’t feel good about it. All this scrawny man wants to do is grind up some lenses and maybe watch some spiders making a web if its a wild day. Don’t fight Spinoza.
Descartes Who wins: Descartes Guy was a mercenary. He like, did fencing. Don’t fight Descartes.
Nietzsche Who wins: You Use his moustache as a pulley and kick him in the chest. When you knock him out whisper ‘human, all too human….’, and laugh.
John Stuart Mill
Who wins: You JSM is the proto weird atheist guy who corners you and insists on going on and on about Richard Dawkins. You could take him easy. Fight John Stuart Mill.
Schopenhauer Who wins: Schopenhauer He believed that the world is fundamentally unsatisfied and in search of satisfaction?? This man is DYING to punch somebody. Don’t do it.
Since Saturday evening I have been eating tarts non-stop. Fate has decreed that my bed should be placed within the chamber that forms the patisserie and so I was very tempted to eat all night long. Luckily I reflected that I should master these passions and finally managed to fall asleep amidst all these seductive items.
I give thee thanks who first with skillful hand Did fashion paste and pastry to command, And gave to mortals this delicious dish So nothing more was left for them to wish. Have they raised altars to thy glorious name, All consecrated to thy talents’ fame? Hundreds of lands are prodigal of vows The universe, its groves and temples, shows; But of thy genius they have little ken, Who brought Ambrosia on the earth to men Pies reign in honour at their festal board But thou’rt forgot as if by one accord.
This week’s OVERREACT comic is longer than usual and won’t fit on Tumblr, which is… probably for the best. READ IN FULL HERE.
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my grandpa saw my gemsona on facebook and now he wants me to draw him a gemsona
he want’s to be an opal!!!!!
i did a quick one we’ll see what he thinks about it tomorrow!
GEMPA OPAL YAAAAAAH
AH my twin sister DREW FANART AHAHA!!
GRAMPS’S REACTION TOMORROW STAY TUNED!
Here is my grandpa lookin at the post! My sister went over to his house (since I live in a different city) to show him how much you guys love it (and to tell him how cute you think he is!!) I did call them but I wanted my sister to actually show him all the nice tags and how popular he is!
HE also wanted to show you his pug Mordue! They so cute…
He loves it and he’s very happy about how much everyone loved it and so does my mom! Thank you guys so much!!! It really made his day!! He wants to print it out and hang it on the wall so my sister will help with that!
EY FATTY BOOM BOOM 