the best thing i’ve ever done in my entire life was to stop biting the skin around my fingernails. squeezing lemons isn’t an excruciatingly painful experience anymore. i am free
For April Fools’ Day, my local radio station is playing literally nothing but Backstreet Boys’ songs and announcing them as other songs, and I think that’s beautiful.
That’s not a joke that’s a gift
four tiny 4×4 skies i painted last night
i want to take some selfies bc i like how i look today but my parents are literally right behind me and that’s embarrassing
touchdown, bro
“What was the happiest moment of your life?”
“I don’t think I have one yet but it’s probably coming up and it’s going to be a surprise.”
Apologize with the clear intention of communicating your remorse and willingness to rectify transgression, not with the innate expectation that you’ll be forgiven.
tesla took a nap in his sweater
I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been
William Shatner is not having any of your shit today
That’s my captain.
oh captain my captain
Holy shit, I might love William Shatner now.
EY FATTY BOOM BOOM 