heavybreathingswift:

monica-geller:

omg yesterday at work my boss handed me a cheque and was like ‘i need you to deliver it to this building, it’s quite a large amount of money so be careful’ and i looked at it and it was just over 1.4 million dollars

1.4 MILLION DOLLARS

someone out there in this world thought i was emotionally mature enough to just fuckin…. carry…… in my own two hands….. 1.4 million dollars…. for 3 city blocks….. in the slight wind…..

let me fuckin tell you i have never been more stressed in my ENTIRE LIFE my palms were sweaty knees weak arms spaghetti i was carrying 1.4 million packets of gum in my hands AND IT WAS WINDY WHAT IF I HAD DROPPED IT?? WHAT IF 1.4 MILLION DOLLARS HAD JUST BEEN FLOATING AROUND THE CITY IN THE WIND???? like do you even god damn understand how many packets of gum that is 

i bet nobody in the world has even SEEN 1.4 million packets of gum at once and there i was LITTLE OLD ME with the power to PURCHASE 1.4 MILLION PACKETS OF GUM AND I WAS JUST WALKIN AROUND IN THE SLIGHT WIND AND nobody… KNEW… NOBDOY WHO WALKED PAST ME… COULD UNDERSTAND… THE POWER… THE GUM… IN MY POSESSSION 

and then i got to the building and it was so fancy the doorman who was probably 40 years older than me called me ma’am and i didn’t know how to respond so i laughed nervously and said thank you which i don’t think is actually the appropriate response to someone calling you ma’am now that i think about

AND THEN I GOT TO THE OFFICE OF THE GUY WHO IW AS GIVING THE CHEQUE TO AND MY HANDS WERE SHAKIN AND HE JUST TOOK IT SO CASUALLY AND SAID THANK YOU AND WALKED BACK INTO HIS OFFICE AND I WANTED TO BE LIKE MARK BUDDY DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY PACKETS OF GUM YOU ARE VIRTUALLY HOLDING RIGHT NOW but i didn’t because mark is the kind of person who just casually takes 1.4 million dollar cheques from people and i’m terrified of him 

THIS IS THE BEST STORY IVE EVER READ THANK YOU FOR SHARING

So my mom told me a story…

acoolpumpkin:

marvelssickandtwistedqueen:

asunsetdream:

theguilteaparty:

theguilteaparty:

Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week.

Literally every week since the first one of them learned how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts.

So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat. Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him.

So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time). So that’s like… 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it. He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself.

That’s approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.

Now

Skip ahead a few years…

and they’re all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad’s bread and their mom comes in, “I don’t think he can handle eating one more slice of banana bread!”

“What are you talking about? He loves banana bread! He had it all the time!”

This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being. He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didn’t have the heart to tell them that he couldn’t stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma told the kids his big secret.

My grandfather was a loving, patient, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was.

I just told my mom this had 1000 notes on it and let me tell you what

She had two responses.

1. Tell them about the mac n cheese

2. Tell me when it hits a million

mOM.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE MAC N CHEESE

I need to know about the mac n cheese

this is what happened with the mac n cheese http://theguilteaparty.tumblr.com/post/123673430184

went to the gynecologist today and i’m gonna get my birth control implant soon!! that’s great news

there’s a possibility that my period will stop completely once i get the implant (which would be GREAT) orrr that it’ll keep being as irregular as it is now (which is less great but i’m already used to this). but the best part is that the implant lasts for 3 YEARS!!! that’s 3 years of being pregnancy-free without even having to do anything!! this is more than enough for me

thrilling new au scenarios for your otps

alouettesque:

  • I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them
  • I work at the animal shelter and you always come in to pet the cats when you’re sad
  • “Oh so you’re the camp counselor my little sibling keeps talking about”
  • We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back
  • We showed up at a book club meeting but we’re the only people there who are not interested in Nicholas Sparks
  • We both signed up for an adventure cycling class and we’re the slowest people so we always end up biking together at the back
  • I work at Chuck E. Cheese and your sibling is having a huge birthday party
  • Your RA almost caught your illegal cat but I convinced them that it was just me meowing
  • I have a service dog and you’re failing this class because you just stare at it instead of taking notes
  • Our little siblings are on rival sports teams and I’ve made it my life goal to cheer louder than you
  • Someone gave me a fake phone number and it’s actually yours

What was it like to be a female Star Trek fan in the 1960s?

magnoliapearl:

seiya234:

phene-thyla-mine:

I found these reddit posts that I thought gave great insight into what it was like for women in the 1960s who enjoyed Star Trek.  Very eye-opening, in my opinion.  I hadn’t realized the extent to which women enjoying science fiction was frowned upon.  Source: X

[–]Aynielle 6 points 11 months ago:  I often wonder if our mothers pined away for members of the og star trek crew like this? William Shatner was a fine man, back in his day. http://www.culch.ie/images/Shatner001.jpg

[–]thecla 8 points 11 months ago:  Yes, we did. And we wrote fanfic, though there was no internet to share it on.

[–]Aynielle 2 points 11 months ago:  Was it just passed amongst friends? Or were there publications that featured them? Thanks for posting! I find this wildly interesting. 🙂

[–]thecla 5 points 11 months ago:  Ok, if you don’t mind a bit of a story…

I went to a private girls’ high school in the mid-late 60’s. I was already a geek, though that wasn’t a term we used. Anyway, I’d already watched the first season of ST by the time I got to school, and was freaking out a bit, ‘cause the dorms had only one TV per dorm; each dorm had about a hundred girls in it.

Star Trek was on Friday nights, so I figured there was no way I’d ever get to see it (it was not as popular at first as everyone seems to say it was). I found out, though, that the first person to sit by the TV after dinner got to say what would be watched! It wasn’t really as much of a race as you’d think, because before Star Trek came on, there was Wild, Wild West, and Robert Conrad with those very, very tight pants (Conrad). Everyone watched that! Actually, it wasn’t till I showed up that anyone bothered leaving the TV on after that.

I watched Star Trek alone for the first couple weeks, then a couple girls stayed with me, then more, and soon it was everybody settling in for two hours of quality coughcough TV.

By sophomore year we had it down to a science: who would make the popcorn, who would bring the drinks, and we would sit there with our hair wrapped around juice cans and coffee cans to get just the right amount of straight vs. curl, in our robes and bunny slippers to watch the best looking guys on TV run around, hopefully without shirts on.

Sophomore year brought us an additional student who was really good at writing. She could write phenomenal satires on whatever literature we were reading, and could translate them into Latin or Greek while she was doing it. Her stories always got passed around (remember, no computers, she wrote them out longhand, then typed them with two sheets of paper and a carbon in between. Some of the stories were a hundred pages or more.)

This girl did a full-length take-off on The Rape of The Lock by John Donne, (which is already a satire) that had us all in stitches, ended up being read by the staff (and it was about them…). We could hear the teachers laughing from rooms away!

Anyway, this is the girl that started writing the Star Trek fanfic. She wrote one for herself and asked me to proofread it (we were roommates), and I begged and begged for one about me till she finally gave in and wrote it. Then another girl found out, and another, and then someone else started writing them. And yes, they would make the rounds, so everybody got to read them all. All written longhand, then typed, collated, stapled, and hopefully treasured by the recipient. I wonder sometimes how many of them still exist.

By the way, when I was at home (school in New York State, home in the Chicago area), I never met another girl who watched Star Trek. Science Fiction was so frowned upon as reading material or watching material for girls, you have no idea. My parents were very upset when they caught me reading my brother’s copies of Asimov, or Clarke. Yeah, I had to hide them under the mattress during the day and read under the covers with a flashlight at night. Even at college, it was rare for me to find another girl who liked science fiction.

Respect your fandom foremothers.

THIS IS FUCKING CUUUUUTE