Thinking about compulsory heterosexuality as it applies to wlw is so interesting to me because women’s heterosexuality is built on so much more than just “you must be attracted to men” because it’s often really tightly bound up with “you must be attractive to men.” And the thing is that those two things are so closely associated that they kind of become interchangeable with one another?
It’s why women who don’t put in the work needed to meet heteronormative standards of beauty are called lesbians and it’s also why some lesbians are told they’re too pretty to be lesbians because it’s assumed that if you are attractive to men then you must seek out that attraction because you like them and vice versa.
But the need to look pretty (for men, it’s implied) is reinforced on so many other levels besides that; like men will dismiss your opinions by saying you’re probably not attractive, you learn how to do makeup from this super early age, you’re told that you wont get a job unless you show up to the interview emulating a really specific type of femininity.
And eventually this becomes so automatic that you don’t even know that you’re doing it; for a long time I would meet a guy and immediately wonder if he liked my hair or if my makeup looked too overdone or if my shirt was too tight. And because attraction and a desire to be attractive were so linked in my head, I just assumed for a long time that I was more attracted to men and attracted to a lot more of them than I am. Because if I was worried about how I looked around them that must mean I was attracted to them, right?
It’s taken me a really long time to sort through that impulse, and I still reflexively do it when I meet some guys. This isn’t because I find them attractive; it’s just that I’ve grown up in a society that’s told me over and over and over again that my worth is measured in my appeal to men.
i feel like there’s been a rly dangerous trend lately of seeing characters being Not Perfect and labeling it as abuse. like. abuse is a vicious cycle with a power imbalance. you can be mean and not abusive. you can be manipulative and not abusive. you can be toxic and not abusive. and it’s honestly making me nervous how quick people are to jump to it lately, even when its just about cartoon discourse.
Thank you (ありがとう): Put your left hand palm-down in front of your chest. In a 90 degree angle, lightly touch the back of your left hand with the edge of your right hand, as if you’re doing a hand-chop. Then lift your right hand back up to your chin level.
Together (一緒): Hold both your index fingers out and then bring both hands together until the fingers meet in the center. It’s a multiple meaning word that can mean other things such as “agreement”.
Here’s an online JSL course in English if you’re interested in learning more!
This article is too important for me to just post a link that you probably won’t click through to read. THIS is why you DO NOT EVER pet service dogs. They are working and it can mean serious injury or even death if you are distracting them from doing their job.
Yo, I actually learned that you shouldnt pet service dogs from a lady who trains them.
EY FATTY BOOM BOOM 