by all means the tendency to indiscriminately villainize maximilien robespierre and portray him as some sort of super-evil sadist guillotine freak is abhorrent to me because it leaves out a more comprehensive understanding of a very interesting historical character whose personality, actions and government were more nuanced than people actually think
however i just saw the most hilarious post when i searched for his name on tumblr and never before in my life i’d think i’d type the words “please stop romanticizing maximilien robespierre” in this order and be at least 60% serious about it
Robespierre Who wins: ??? The guy was, like, 5’2" and tiny. His glasses fall off as he’s attempting to deliver a roundhouse kick and he can’t see shit anymore, so you just leave him alone. Why are you trying to fight Robespierre, anyway? What are you getting out of this? You are reported to the Revolutionary Tribunal two days later.
Saint-Just Who wins: Saint-Just He isn’t called the Angel of Death for nothing. As well as having supreme stealth and agility, Saint-Just is known for his blindingly good looks, and you stop and stare at his gorgeous face just as he’s punching yours. You topple over and lie on the street for half an hour, his dazzling eyes ingrained in your memory.
Danton Who wins: Danton This guy is burly as fuck, and he will destroy you. But you should fight him anyway. Come on, do it. It needs to happen.
Marat Who wins: No one Marat’s just soaking in his bathtub, when suddenly, you burst through the door. Like what the fuck, why would you do that? He flicks disease-ridden bathwater at you. Just before you counterattack, Charlotte Corday stabs you from behind, runs over to Marat, and kills him too. She beat you to it, buddy. Better luck next time.
Camille Desmoulins Who wins: You Camille insists on talking about his day as you’re on your way to the Convention. He trips over his own foot and crashes into a lamp post. It’s no use, you think. There’s no point.
Hébert Who wins: Hébert He curses like no other, he has no boundaries. Everyone wants to punch him at this point. You try to, but it’s too late. He jumps onto a table and starts throwing things at you, screaming obscenities as you run away in terror. He jumps onto your back pins you to the ground in an instant. Don’t fuck with Hébert.
Couthon Who wins: No one Look, okay, if your life has gotten to the point where you want to fight Couthon, you need to prioritize more. He’s paralyzed and is holding a small dog. How dare you, you filthy monster
photos by michal cizek (1,3,5,7,9) of kijivu, a western lowland gorilla, with her two day old baby at the zoo in prague; and fredrikvon erichsen (2,4,6,8) of rebecca and her three day old daugher at the frankfurt zoo.
with less than 800 mountain gorillas and only 2500 eastern lowland gorillas left in the world, gorilla populations are now so low that birthing programs such of these are needed to ensure sufficient genetic diversity of the species.
my favorite part of sleepovers is when its like 4 am and everyone is laying down trying to go to bed and its silent and then someone says something like “ass butter” and we’re so tired that we can’t stop laughing
i’m sure people know this, but for those of you who don’t, alligators and crocodiles (this is a gator) have some of the most powerful jaws on earth—if they’re biting down. their muscles are made to clamp and hold while its body twists, taking down its prey and (typically) drowning it. however, they have next to no opening power, meaning this crab’s claw has rendered this gator almost powerless
studying to pass vestibular is stressing me the fuck out and normally i’d kinda accept it and move along like i always did but i’m feeling like it’s affecting my friendships this time
dog: [stares at me because I have food]
me: [flips middle finger at dog]
dog: [gives my middle finger kisses because he does not understand the obscene gesture and does not believe for an instant that I would be cruel to him in even the slightest way]
EY FATTY BOOM BOOM 