Me, a menstruater: Why must you constantly prep for babies? Can’t you just wait until after we decide we want babies?
Uterus (now with magical eye, hip flask, and peg leg): CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Me: *looks at my cat*
Me: You can’t do a damn thing. You don’t pay taxes! You don’t give a care about anything!! You just roll around all day and lick yourself!! What do you even offer to my life!!!!
Cat: :3
Me: I love you.