the signs as shakespearean archetypes

macklesufficient:

aries: the honorable but temperamental soldier (hotspur, coriolanus, pericles)

taurus: the sassy servant (mariah, mistress quickly, paulina)

gemini: the impish but omniscient jester (feste, puck, lear’s fool)

cancer: the puppyish lover boy (romeo, orlando, valentine)

leo: the wronged but extremely glam queen (cleopatra, titania, hermione)

virgo: antonio

libra: the ambiguously gay best friend (horatio, benvolio, don pedro)

scorpio: the creepy duplicitous one no one suspects of being creepy and duplicitous (iago, richard iii, lady macbeth)

sagittarius: the “i fucking told you so” character (kent, queen margaret, prince escalus, )

capricorn: the controlling single dad (polonius, prospero, baptista)

aquarius: the spunky cross-dresser (viola, rosalind, imogen)

pisces: the manic pixie dream virgin (miranda, perdita, cordelia)

waspabi:

lornacrowley:

blossomfae:

missvoltairine:

bradkey:

osmanthusoolong:

arminarlerted:

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now