Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat
“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”
I have zero patience for rude old people I don’t care if you’re a senior I’ll fucking fight you lets see what moves they taught your wrinkled ass in the war of 1812 talk shit get hit
Other Nostril: They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums… drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out… they are coming.
does anyone else follow people who don’t even have the same interests as you, but you’ve followed them for years and you can’t imagine unfollowing them?
it’s like, no that’s joan the dolphin lover? she’s practically your neighbor on this website? you’ve never talked, you’re not even mutuals, but damn she loves dolphins. And every time you see her on your dash, you’re just like, oh wonderful, joan’s still alive, just doing her thing. she’s getting into golden age russian cat literature, good for her!
this person doesn’t even know they’ve been on your dash through the ups and downs of your life. Their presence and cactus obsession is just something kind of familiar and almost comforting to you?
Possibly the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me occurred today. So I’m in a creative writing class at university right now and we had to print out twenty-five copies of our first, one page assignment to distribute to the class. I had to print mine at the computer lab as I don’t have a printer, but here are the three crucial facts that made this the worst mistake of my life.
1. Sometimes, when you log into Google on Chrome, it activates all of your extensions, even ones you’ve deactivated.
2. In high school, my friends and I got really into Ponify (a words replacing chrome extension) and switched the preferences so we could read political articles and have congress get into a “rousing snow ball fight” and the like.
3. Ponify reverted to its original My Little Pony lingo when opened on a new computer’s chrome.
So when I distributed my twenty-five copies of this I noticed the word “everypony”, my heart seized up and dropped into my stomach, and with my imminent death approaching, I began furiously correcting all twenty-five of them. My teacher, confusedly, agreed to let me correct them as I was too infuriated and ashamed to say my mistake aloud.
I just realized, however, that the line “as she watched the binding fall away in her hand” was changed to “as she watched the binding fall away in her hoof”.
And I just had to send this email:
And basically I’m ready for death how was your day
I’m officially not sorry for introducing you to ponify
EY FATTY BOOM BOOM 