chalkytalkie

why are people obsessed with sex in the most annoying manner. like, don’t they have anything more interesting to talk about?? it sounds so empty

Me Texting: sarcasm on point, hilarious, snarky, too good for you
Me Talking: stutters, forgets words, dissolves into awkward silence

me: *has to be at a place at a certain time*
place: *is 2 hours away, tops*
me, unable to accurately process time: Well, I’d better leave at least 5 hours early

dontberickdiculous:

baileef:

hello i would like 2 let u know my kitten has thumbs and she fully plans on dominating the world with them

please kiss her thumbs and tell her i hope she does a good job and that i love her very much

flowersilk:

i luv when cats randomly burst into a full gallop across the house for absolutely no apparent reason. idk what ur doin or where ur goin but i support it

smoke-stungeyes:

These little kids at MoMA were trying to recreate this piece of art and it made my life.

ladytatyana:

weavemunchers:

ivilays:

weavemunchers:

Me without makeup: *super hot*

Me with makeup: *super hot but w/ longer eyelashes*

Said no girl ever 😒

I’m a girl and I literally just said this

I