opalclit:

things about cuddling that fanfictions often fail to mention:

• “move my arm is falling asleep”
• “i can’t breathe”
• “just jam your knee right up my crotch. this is fine”
• “omg get up you’re taking up the whole bed”
• “did you just fart” “yes” “it’s okay. release your demons”
• “did you just fart” “yes” “okay.” *ten seconds later* “AUGH”
• “you’ve got bad breath” “omg do i really” “yes” “i’m so sorry” “it’s okay”
• *hand is accidentally on a boob/nipple/genital* “omg don’t move”/”omg i’m so sorry”
• *can hear the other’s tummy gurgle*
• “i’m hungry” “i’m not moving”
• “i have to pee” “nooooooo”
• *right as one person is about to fall asleep, one of their body parts jerk and it scares the poop out of the other person*
• *hours later when they’ve both fallen asleep and are no longer cuddling, one person stretches and softly punches the other in the face*

bonus:

• “do you remember when you used to think you were straight”
• “do you remember when we thought we were just friends”