The Signs as Suburban Moms

Aries: Jennifer, age 43, an alcoholic who lets her kids run wild but still shows up to school functions so it looks like she’s trying

Taurus: Ramona, age 37, a stay at home mom obsessed with interior decorating who spends over $20,000 a year at Homegoods.

Gemini: Lyn, age 38, a confident mom who flirts with married men even though she herself is married and posts too much on social media

Cancer: Pat, age 41, a loving mom who already has six kids but wants to push for one more because she loves the whole process of raising a child

Leo: Stella, age 36, a “younger” mom who is an ex Broadway star and likes to tell stories about her “dazzling” experiences on the stage and rant about how her kids are sure to follow

Virgo: Courtney, age 45, a traditional mom who doesn’t let her kids dye their hair and thinks college is the most important thing ever

Libra: Katherine, age 42, a gossiper who is obsessed with high school reunions and going to parties and socializing

Scorpio: Kelly, age 39, a widow who is doing her best to provide for the kids but is grief stricken since losing her husband

Sagittarius: Georgina, age 38, a firecracker mom who brings everyone on road trips across the country and likes to skydive

Capricorn: Susan, age 42, a self proclaimed “tiger mom” who pushes her kids to learn instruments and achieve perfect grades so they can show the world their potential

Aquarius: Harriet, age 37, an artist who keeps to herself and doesn’t really show up at PTA meetings because everybody there is boring

Pisces: Christina, age 40, a super lenient mom who won’t get mad at her kids for drinking or anything like that but rather try to understand why they did it and try to help